I am fucking screaming. My lungs are bursting. My throat cannot contain itself. I have a knot in my stomach the size of my head. I am right in your face, right on the edge, yet you can’t hear me. You are deaf to everything. You don’t listen. You don’t understand. Nor, do you care to understand. You pretend everything is fine. You pretend I can’t hear you. You pretend I can’t see you. How do the ones we love kill us? How are we so naive to the truth? How do we hold on so long, with every ounce of energy, with every gleam of hope- - -only to be crushed, destroyed in seconds? I just love how no matter what I do, how much I accomplish, you can ruin it. You make me stronger. You break me down, and I build myself back up. I have good people in my life that help. But my motto lately seems to be, I need no one. I stand by this still. I will prove it. I will graduate with good grades, make hope…go to college. I will get the money to move out. I will do what it takes. Like I always do. I have been busting my ass for a year straight now, one way or another. Why stop now? I won’t cry. I won’t break. I won’t cry. I will smile through this rush of nerves that hits my throat. I’ll puke before I cry. Why couldn’t you just be proud? Happy for me? Anything? There is always something negative hidden in your tone. You know it. Admit it. I feel like you resent me? Could I be wrong? possibly. why should you? I do my best, which is better than most. I go above and beyond for anyone. And when I need them, they are no where to be found. And as for you.. boo fucking hoo your going through something? Aren’t you always? Well now I am, and I would like to talk, hear some words of encouragement. But, where are you?