Mom, just so you fucking know....taking away a phone doesn't bother me.
it actually makes me want to piss you off even more.

Keep preaching about me moving out, cause when I do...
you'll never hear from me..even if I'm at the end of my wits with no where to go.
Burning bridges.
Making wishes.

I feel like there is a giant magnet in my chest which is forlornly pulling at an invisible counterpart, just hoping that something will pull back. I feel like my own skin is trying to crawl its way off my body, or something underneath is trying to break though. As if, very soon, I will soar and combust and be filled with an irrevocable calm. I feel like, for the past few years, I’ve just been waiting. Waiting to wake up and realise and know. 

When in reality, I’ve been slowly drowning for a while now; getting heavier and deeper as time goes on, the surface being just out of reach. Once or twice I might see a glimmer of light through the waves but it’s become too nice and quiet down here — safe — that I never try too hard to keep afloat. I just sink deeper into the dark, bottomless pit of silence, loneliness and despair where nobody bothers you and you just wilt away from existence without even trying.

When people say "I know what you're going through," I'm just thinking.....NO. NO, you don't. Maybe something similar, but no. You wouldn't understand, so why should i even bother explaining?

Do you know how many times I got asked if I was "okay" this weekend?

Guess I'm starting to act differently. 

Great.