I got my scars right here

I truly miss my ability to explain myself and feelings.

For the sake of my insanity here's my best shot.

try. try. try.
fail. fail. fail.
I'm not a back burner kind of gal.
"never hated to love like this"
let me stop you there. love the IDEA, not the person.
I don't love you.
I wonder sometimes if I am capable of this emotion.
or perhaps I am too capable?
I ask myself the same questions you ask.
why do I care?
Because he made me feel like i was floating,
like i didn't have to think, worry, anything, just keep on that smile.

I'm losing you.
I sense it in your hugs.
Not the drug induced ones.
The distant look you have.
I'm bowing out.
The heart is yours, but I'm keeping the scar.


No more lies.
I am not bulletproof.
Ever notice how you put your hand on your face,
and you don't really feel it, it's just there.
but when he does, you feel everything.
You feel the smallest movement.
You feel it in every cell.
That tingle.
It makes a difference.
It's the most wonderful thing.

I can't see the light
from this hole you have dug
remember how to fight?

work on improving yourself before you tell me
or anyone else, on this planet
what is so deeply wrong with them.
you will never reach that personal perfection before you die,
so shut the fuck up and try your best to.

my eyes won't shut,
my breath won't start,
my heart won't slow,
sleep won't come.
don't flatter yourself, your not this important.

well baby here's all you asked for and more.
Expectations are terrible things, second only to assumptions in their ability to confuse and disappoint.

Petty shit

Oh God, here we go again.
You're my first and you're starting to feel like my last.
I've never hated someone and loved someone so much at the same time.
This is dangerous.

Ansleigh;

I'm so sorry.You don't deserve this baby girl...as much as you've been through.
You're strong, so I know you'll be just fine.
I love you.

And Dyls, I love you too...
Everything will be okay soon enough.