Lowest of the lows? I guess hitting bottom means you can only go up right? Realization. That positive ignorant, unrealistic outlook I've acquired within the last few days has suddenly vanished. Short period of denial. But ya' know, good ol' pessimistic Caylee is back in full swing. I'm in such a lonely place right now, surrounded by people. Venting to the people I call friends isn't the easiest thing, nobody would actually take in what I'm saying; accept or understand the lack of energy I have for life in general, believe me that I feel this is a permanent state of being in which I can't stand to bare any longer. I'm beginning to hate everyone in my life slowly but surely, and I've never dared to make such a broad statement.  I think I'm done with the internet for a while. Fuck off if anyone even reads this God for saken thing.

And the times I need a friend more than ever...nobody is to be found. Not to say I'm not grateful for the amazing people (I could count on one hand) that I do care for here, but I'm really praying to God I meet somebody worth something when I go to school. I REALLY REALLY REALLY wish Keenyn still lived in Dunwoody, because my apartment is literally down the street from his old one. Shit sucks to think about all the good memories we could have possibly shared.

My fucking heart was just ripped out of my body. Thank you, asshole.


If absence truly makes the heart grow fonder, the secret of a happy heart is clear. I guess I'll keep well away. Maybe you'll learn to appreciate me. Even if this relationship has already sailed beyond the realm of romance into the marsh of mundanity, memory is a fickle thing. What once seemed to sparkle seductive, is unforgettably grim. I wouldn't dare say nothing every works in my favor, but nothing in this department. I'm always making excuses as to why things don't work out, or what I could change about a person if I had the God given ability...but truthfully it's myself i need to work on.