completely medicated. completely serene. completely destroyed. completely hated. completely intolerable. completely different. completely insane. completely complete.

I want to pull my hair out. I want to rip at my skin. I want to be less confused, more aware, less doped up. but bad habits are hard to beat and new habits are making me worn. The world is so beautiful, and what you’re doing is so fucking ugly. You’re ugly, and you need to grow up. Grow the fuck up and be fucking beautiful. I’m begging you.

I’m beginning to believe i am the only person annoyed by everything. i’m hungry, i’m tired. i have deep psychological issues. it’s normal…

Quit wasting my fucking time. Quit taking sides. Quit being so fucking ignorant, so fucking weak. Your weakness? Pity, self-hatred. Quit being so fake. Quit living for the past. just, quit living. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. Nobody will ever fucking care. Ignorance at its highest form - teenager. I would never stoop to your fucking level. I would never allow myself to give up so easily, to stop trying, to put all my faith and heart into people. Don’t get me wrong - i love people, but i’d never fucking manipulate them… get them to pity me… in order to make myself feel fucking better.

why do i always feel so alone. I’m always alone. I’m always different. I’m never understood. I’m always distant. I’m never in the right place at the right time. i say the wrong things. i say everything so fucking wrong. i don’t mean it… i really… i don’t mean it. i love people so much and i love what people have. but i can’t stand feeling like i’m the only person standing on this earth… i’m tired of letting everything pass me by. i have so much potential. i can do anything, i can be anything. but i can’t get over all the people who have let me down. i think if i encounter one person who lets me down, everyone else will do the same. i need to let my guard down. i need to be free. i need to be free. i need to be free. i don’t feel like i have anything. i want to take all the things i own and just burn them. just tear myself to pieces. just to prove i am someone. but i know i am someone. what the fuck is wrong with me? one minute, i’m fine… the next i’m a mess. one minute, i’m worthless and the next, i’m a god. i hate this. i hate this. i hate living knowing something is wrong. i hate living knowing it’s just me and it’s just my stupid fucking emotions and my worthless opinions and my own self-lows coming through.